Well, I can honestly say that this stay in Japan/ leave Japan debate has been one of the most difficult choices of my life. Add in my still rather fragile emotional status, and the incredible time pressure, and it hasn't been an easy week.
I had made the decision to leave, and even booked a flight, but I think I'm going to cancel that flight today. For some reason, inexplicable even to myself, I just don't feel good about leaving right now. When I think of seeing family and friends, I feel great, but the thought of leaving Kanazawa just makes me sick to my stomach. While I think I must leave, and should leave, I've come to the realization that I just don't want to leave.
There should be an ALT position or two opening up in early October, and if I get that job it would come with an apartment and be good till March, so that would really help me iron some things out in my mind and my life, without a full years commitment.
As always, thank you everybody for your support and love in this time of trial. I've been hurt before, but those were preludes to the main event. I guess nobody can make it through life without at least one major heart break. I just hope I can keep the number of times something like this happens to a bare minimum. Once is far too many times to feel this kind of pain.